Grief can be a frightening journey when traveled alone. So often we feel isolated and unable to put words to the depth of pain we feel. One minute life is good then suddenly a huge wall is dropped in front of us blocking our way. We are shocked by the suddenness of it all. We lose direction and a sense of self.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Everyone grieves in their own way and own time.
Some may have the need to talk while others stay still. Men and women may grieve differently as well. Men may tend to be more "task oriented", having the need to clean the yard, chop wood or immerse themselves into their job 110%. Women, on the other hand, often have the need to process verbally. They may find themselves sharing their story multiple times.
As we journey through the grieving process we may experience different stages. Initially we may feel shock and denial. The phone rings with the news of a loved one's passing and our minds say "this can"t be". We may experience this on a personal level or globally. Do you recall your initial response on 9/11? How about when Princess Diana died or the Virginia Tech Shooting?
The sense of shock may last for a while which allows us to slowly absorb the reality of the loss.
Anger is an emotion that floats to the top many times as we grieve. We may find ourselves angry with the event, ourselves, God or even the deceased. It doesn't have to make sense but we must take ownership. We may not want or be proud of our emotions but they are what they are.
Trying to suppress them will only work against us. It doesn't make us bad, just human.
I often speak of the "emotional trash can" we have inside us and how, if left unchecked, these emotions can become toxic resulting in the manifestation of grief physically and emotionally.
It's always nice to have a companion on a journey. Someone to talk with, someone to offer encouragement, a good listener and most importantly willing to travel alongside. RMH Grief and Loss Service is available to companion with you on the grief journey. The first two sessions are free and open to anyone within our community.
The journey is difficult and at times overwhelming but there is no need to travel alone.
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